i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
love makes seman taste better
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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