I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
