no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
