mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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