For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
