i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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