You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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