i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He has the fingertips of a God
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
