in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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