when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
