It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
