Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
