So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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