Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
