Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
