the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
