Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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