I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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