last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
