I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
