He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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