woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
