perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Randomize
