I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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