I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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