please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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