Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
