Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Houston, we have a blender
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
