if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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