I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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