Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
