At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
