I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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