using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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