I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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