Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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