Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
