Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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