You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
