I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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