Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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