How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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