Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
