He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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