Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
