I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
