I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
