M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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