dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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