I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
