Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
