Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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