my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
