Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
