im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
