One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
