he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
