why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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