just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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